too bad you live with your parents still
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
