can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He? As in you personified your dick?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
