If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
