so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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