Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
