So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
