I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
