I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
