this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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