Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
