It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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