Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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