i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There's always time for handjobs
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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