We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
