I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
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