I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
