I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
