My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I got inside last night via doggy door
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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