My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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