I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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