if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
