just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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