mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i now understand why vodka
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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