Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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