I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
