Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
