never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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