but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
