So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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