I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
