So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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