Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize