You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
