my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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