What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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