I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My feet surprised me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
