btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
