I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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