We won't sleep together?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
