I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
home. puking in laundry basket.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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