You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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