and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
