youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
