She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Randomize
