Whod you bang
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
