I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
