You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
