Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
