I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
