Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
