BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
