addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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