try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
