I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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