mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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