im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
