My pussy is not your playground.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
