She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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