his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
