no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
