Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
