It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
