of course. lets lasso hookers.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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