I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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