Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
This is classic penis vs brain.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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