Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
