A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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