we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
